Old Testament Laws and Modern Christians

Jesus-followers like to say the Old Testament rules don’t apply now because Jesus supersedes them, but then they pull out the old rules when it suits them. This flies in the face of Jesus’ teachings though, since Jesus explicitly states that all the old Jewish rules are to be obeyed. All of them, every single one. You’d think Christians would pick this fact up in one of their many sessions studying the Bible. The Bible is just one book…how many study sessions could it take? It’s not like they have to study the books that weren’t chosen to be included in the current version, or study the Bible plus the Quran and much more, like the Muslims. This is just one more of myriad reasons I don’t think most Christians actually study the Bible much at all, but I digress…

Old Testament rules that are still of vital import to the Christian include:

  • The Ten Commandments (both versions) – these commandments are considered important but adherence seems awfully…optional
  • Don’t be gay
  • Don’t have sex before marriage
  • More sex stuff like don’t do the sodomy with your dad, and don’t have the sex with other family members and (very important) don’t have the sex with animals
  • Don’t test God (this is a good one, since all of the tests fail anyway, just like they always have)
  • Pray over a meal (sure, the Bible says pray *after* the meal, but who reads this stuff anyway?)
  • Don’t blaspheme, or use God’s name in vain or otherwise be profane with it (God is sensitive like that)
  • Also most everyone on the planet accepts the typical humanist stuff like don’t lie, be kind to strangers, don’t cheat people, don’t poop where you sleep, etc. – those are universal and almost always best to follow, and are followed by most cultures with or without access to old Jewish holy books

Then there are Old Testament rules that are completely ignored by today’s Christians – the list is way too long but here’s a sampling…

  • Learn and teach the Torah (sorta what we’re talking about here)
  • Don’t eat bacon
  • Don’t do anything on Sundays
  • Don’t charge interest or take a loan with interest
  • Give newly married men a year off to be with their families
  • Women who die childless can only marry her dead husband’s brother
  • Passover (they just ignore all of it. Jesus-based Christians don’t even acknowledge that time their all-loving god murdered the innocent children of the Egyptians. That’s cool I guess since the Egyptians don’t mention it either)
  • Don’t covet things other people have
  • Don’t worship graven images or engage in idolatry
  • Don’t shave your beard
  • Don’t get tattoos
  • Don’t favor rich men in court (HAHA that’s a good one)

And these Old Testament laws are completely ignored, because they are silly and outdated:

  • All the rules about slavery, finally (asterisk)
  • Anything about wizards, witches, or sorcerers, since no one believes in any of that anymore either (again, except God. God believes in wizards.)
  • Similarly, don’t sacrifice children to Molek (no one believes in Molek now, except apparently Almighty God)
  • Most of the stuff about menstruation (like don’t have any sexy-time during or for some time after, and other related rituals)
  • Rapists marry the rape victim after paying the father some silver
  • Put tassels on all your clothes (thankfully!)

And most importantly in this case, Christians ignore the commandments to kill unbelievers who post dissertations like this one mocking the Bible’s incessant silliness…so that’s a plus.

“A thorough reading and understanding of the Bible is the surest path to atheism” – Donald Morgan